Love and Wrong Stuff

Just remember one day a long time ago when I heard a story from my friend. Hope someone can learn from this painful story.

She dated her ex boyfriend for as long as I knew her (at least 7 years) and that day, we had lunch with some friends. During the lunch, she revealed that she broke up with her ex, this time for good. It came as a surprise since I thought this couple could go all the way. I didn't know them well before, I barely met her ex, just befriended her.

When I asked what's wrong, she revealed that her ex cheated on him TWICE. The first time was more than 5 years before the break up. She was mad with the affair, why wouldn't she? I knew her as someone who can be considered pure-hearted (or naive, depends on your stand). After all, she quitted her previous job with one reason that most people couldn't care less. She saw a lot of affair went on at previous office, a married man had affair with TWO married women with those two women fought each other to have him. Hello ladies, all three of you are married, why don't you all have threesome or something, instead of fighting a pointless battle there? I was almost envy that guy!

Oppsss back to the topic, in short, she left the job and paid penalty for quitting before end of her contract. That willingness to do so just goes to show how much she hate betrayal. But it came to surprise when she forgave her ex and went back dating him. She said her ex came crying to her and her mother, begging forgiveness; while his mother also called her to persuade her to forgive her son and to give him another shot. Due to what she called love, considering also how close she was with her (at that time) future mother in law, she soften up and took him back.

It took probably another 2 years. Same old story happened. He cheated on her again, his mother called her asking for her forgiveness again. This time finally she showed no mercy. The relationship was done, once and for all.

Morale of the story:
1. Human never change, that's very true no matter how you want to deny. Unless a near death or very soul-shocking thing happens, no chance someone will ever change his nature. In this story, once a cheater always a cheater. If you can ignore the habit, good for you. Otherwise, find someone else.
2. Love really makes us blind and makes us willing to change our principle. In this case, a notoriously intolerable girl allowed her BF to be back together after one of the most humiliating experience in her life.
3. When you're faced with decision to make up or break up, always put relationship with your partner's family aside. While it's comforting to have their affection to you, you're going to marry and live with your partner, not the entire family (no matter how you want to argue with this statement)
4. For God's sake, if you want to cheat on someone so bad, be it because of hormone or ego, do it smartly and not hurting your partner's feeling!

However foolish it seems for no 2 to happen, let's not kid ourselves. Once in your lifetime, you experience those kind of things. You compromise your ideals for someone who's just wrong. There's nothing wrong with it, we are (or have been) young. We make mistakes and learn from them. In 10 years, we'll look back those experience and smile. Some might say it's a worthy experience to strengthen ourselves and won't change a thing. Others consider those experience as a waste of time and want to turn back time, change the way it happens.

I would say... pick your poison...

NB: Hours after I posted this, I chatted with my colleague and she mentioned the same thing (human never change, especially once already mature). Then hours later, met an ex colleague who mentioned the same thing again... What a coincidence...