Looking at what I have now and what I used to have in the past... some said men tend to be longing for single life, and why not? Carefree, enjoy life to the fullest, going out with pretty ladies, having guys night out etc... I'll say most men, if not all, would love to repeat that part of life (exception will be made to less sociable folks, nothing wrong with being so by the way)
Being human, we want something different from what we currently have. We want those moments when we have less things to take care of and less responsibility. But do we really want to go that path again? We mostly remember, and rightfully, only the good nice sweet memories that make us smile. But is that all?
Being married, I lost all privileges single man has (happily conceding those :D ). I can't freely hang out with my friends on weeknights because my wife waiting at home, can't spend money without second thought (not with some other routine needs or some expense in the future), no more guys night out, etc etc...
Seems like a loss? Not really! I can still remember those good times, but I can also recall those blue nights when I was all alone in my room with no one to hold dear. Might have a crush on someone who doesn't respond to my feeling. Might have no one at all. Those boys might be busy with exams, works, and their personal things. Those lonely times kill!
So let's see if I really want to relive my past...
1. Now : having a wife. Previously : ask any pretty single girl to go out for dinner or movies. Choice : I have my wife to go out for food or movies, she's a fun person to hang out with. Plus other girls in the past left me broken hearted a few times. My wife certainly won't do so (cross my finger :D )
2. Now : Go home after office. Previously : Hang out with friends sometimes after office hour. Choice : This one is tricky, but as we age, our friends have their own personal life and can't go out as often as they wanted in the past, the same situation with us. So some occasions when I have my free time, I ask them to hang out (probably once every 2-3 months), not enough actually, but this is one of the compromise you have to make in life.
3. Dunno what to write for now and previously, but I know that I won't need to be lonely anymore or feeling sorry for my life (cause my life is GREAT!)
So the answer is NO. I love my past, I had such a great moments, learning from my mistakes, finding out what made me sad or happy... I'll leave my past as a lesson and as a diary I can always turn page to... It will make me smile... But I live in the present and aiming for the future.... Don't try to find the so-called former glory... cause there's a reason it's called FORMER :)
Selasa, 07 Mei 2013
Senin, 06 Mei 2013
Love and Wrong Stuff
Just remember one day a long time ago when I heard a story from my friend. Hope someone can learn from this painful story.
She dated her ex boyfriend for as long as I knew her (at least 7 years) and that day, we had lunch with some friends. During the lunch, she revealed that she broke up with her ex, this time for good. It came as a surprise since I thought this couple could go all the way. I didn't know them well before, I barely met her ex, just befriended her.
When I asked what's wrong, she revealed that her ex cheated on him TWICE. The first time was more than 5 years before the break up. She was mad with the affair, why wouldn't she? I knew her as someone who can be considered pure-hearted (or naive, depends on your stand). After all, she quitted her previous job with one reason that most people couldn't care less. She saw a lot of affair went on at previous office, a married man had affair with TWO married women with those two women fought each other to have him. Hello ladies, all three of you are married, why don't you all have threesome or something, instead of fighting a pointless battle there? I was almost envy that guy!
Oppsss back to the topic, in short, she left the job and paid penalty for quitting before end of her contract. That willingness to do so just goes to show how much she hate betrayal. But it came to surprise when she forgave her ex and went back dating him. She said her ex came crying to her and her mother, begging forgiveness; while his mother also called her to persuade her to forgive her son and to give him another shot. Due to what she called love, considering also how close she was with her (at that time) future mother in law, she soften up and took him back.
It took probably another 2 years. Same old story happened. He cheated on her again, his mother called her asking for her forgiveness again. This time finally she showed no mercy. The relationship was done, once and for all.
Morale of the story:
1. Human never change, that's very true no matter how you want to deny. Unless a near death or very soul-shocking thing happens, no chance someone will ever change his nature. In this story, once a cheater always a cheater. If you can ignore the habit, good for you. Otherwise, find someone else.
2. Love really makes us blind and makes us willing to change our principle. In this case, a notoriously intolerable girl allowed her BF to be back together after one of the most humiliating experience in her life.
3. When you're faced with decision to make up or break up, always put relationship with your partner's family aside. While it's comforting to have their affection to you, you're going to marry and live with your partner, not the entire family (no matter how you want to argue with this statement)
4. For God's sake, if you want to cheat on someone so bad, be it because of hormone or ego, do it smartly and not hurting your partner's feeling!
However foolish it seems for no 2 to happen, let's not kid ourselves. Once in your lifetime, you experience those kind of things. You compromise your ideals for someone who's just wrong. There's nothing wrong with it, we are (or have been) young. We make mistakes and learn from them. In 10 years, we'll look back those experience and smile. Some might say it's a worthy experience to strengthen ourselves and won't change a thing. Others consider those experience as a waste of time and want to turn back time, change the way it happens.
I would say... pick your poison...
NB: Hours after I posted this, I chatted with my colleague and she mentioned the same thing (human never change, especially once already mature). Then hours later, met an ex colleague who mentioned the same thing again... What a coincidence...
She dated her ex boyfriend for as long as I knew her (at least 7 years) and that day, we had lunch with some friends. During the lunch, she revealed that she broke up with her ex, this time for good. It came as a surprise since I thought this couple could go all the way. I didn't know them well before, I barely met her ex, just befriended her.
When I asked what's wrong, she revealed that her ex cheated on him TWICE. The first time was more than 5 years before the break up. She was mad with the affair, why wouldn't she? I knew her as someone who can be considered pure-hearted (or naive, depends on your stand). After all, she quitted her previous job with one reason that most people couldn't care less. She saw a lot of affair went on at previous office, a married man had affair with TWO married women with those two women fought each other to have him. Hello ladies, all three of you are married, why don't you all have threesome or something, instead of fighting a pointless battle there? I was almost envy that guy!
Oppsss back to the topic, in short, she left the job and paid penalty for quitting before end of her contract. That willingness to do so just goes to show how much she hate betrayal. But it came to surprise when she forgave her ex and went back dating him. She said her ex came crying to her and her mother, begging forgiveness; while his mother also called her to persuade her to forgive her son and to give him another shot. Due to what she called love, considering also how close she was with her (at that time) future mother in law, she soften up and took him back.
It took probably another 2 years. Same old story happened. He cheated on her again, his mother called her asking for her forgiveness again. This time finally she showed no mercy. The relationship was done, once and for all.
Morale of the story:
1. Human never change, that's very true no matter how you want to deny. Unless a near death or very soul-shocking thing happens, no chance someone will ever change his nature. In this story, once a cheater always a cheater. If you can ignore the habit, good for you. Otherwise, find someone else.
2. Love really makes us blind and makes us willing to change our principle. In this case, a notoriously intolerable girl allowed her BF to be back together after one of the most humiliating experience in her life.
3. When you're faced with decision to make up or break up, always put relationship with your partner's family aside. While it's comforting to have their affection to you, you're going to marry and live with your partner, not the entire family (no matter how you want to argue with this statement)
4. For God's sake, if you want to cheat on someone so bad, be it because of hormone or ego, do it smartly and not hurting your partner's feeling!
However foolish it seems for no 2 to happen, let's not kid ourselves. Once in your lifetime, you experience those kind of things. You compromise your ideals for someone who's just wrong. There's nothing wrong with it, we are (or have been) young. We make mistakes and learn from them. In 10 years, we'll look back those experience and smile. Some might say it's a worthy experience to strengthen ourselves and won't change a thing. Others consider those experience as a waste of time and want to turn back time, change the way it happens.
I would say... pick your poison...
NB: Hours after I posted this, I chatted with my colleague and she mentioned the same thing (human never change, especially once already mature). Then hours later, met an ex colleague who mentioned the same thing again... What a coincidence...
Kamis, 02 Mei 2013
Back to Life...
It's been aeons since the last time I blogging... Actually I wrote in the same blog until few years ago then I stopped and deleted the account... Then suddenly I feel like why don't I keep a blog to write down whatever I have in mind.. be it just screaming out loud or to keep any idea that pop up before I forget them...
Years ago, this blog has been a welcomed space to scream my heart out, whether when I was heartbroken, feeling very blue, being very sad.... yeah yeah I know... my creativity just seems to show up when I'm in the low side of life, but maybe that's why great love songs usually are heartbroken ones and maybe that's the reason why Michael Learns To Rock and their ballad songs ranked very high on my all time favorite list...
Few years forward since the last time I owned this blog.... I'm on the wrong side of 30 years old (geez I'm getting older, watch these silver hairs!), happily married with wonderful independent woman, have friends I can trust whether the ones located within a mile or halfway around the world, work in a job I like (apart from some crazy situations that made me cranky), still love spending my leisure time with manga, video games, tv series, and sadly I'm less patient than before (Jakarta traffic has its way to turn even saints into partial angry person).... always try to better myself, but hey it takes time....
What else can I say? I think that's all for now, as currently I don't have anything in mind... just updating how my life turn out for the last 5-6 years...
Years ago, this blog has been a welcomed space to scream my heart out, whether when I was heartbroken, feeling very blue, being very sad.... yeah yeah I know... my creativity just seems to show up when I'm in the low side of life, but maybe that's why great love songs usually are heartbroken ones and maybe that's the reason why Michael Learns To Rock and their ballad songs ranked very high on my all time favorite list...
Few years forward since the last time I owned this blog.... I'm on the wrong side of 30 years old (geez I'm getting older, watch these silver hairs!), happily married with wonderful independent woman, have friends I can trust whether the ones located within a mile or halfway around the world, work in a job I like (apart from some crazy situations that made me cranky), still love spending my leisure time with manga, video games, tv series, and sadly I'm less patient than before (Jakarta traffic has its way to turn even saints into partial angry person).... always try to better myself, but hey it takes time....
What else can I say? I think that's all for now, as currently I don't have anything in mind... just updating how my life turn out for the last 5-6 years...
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